STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT COMPLAINTS

How do you feel about complaints? Do you think that people are complaining way to much and do you maybe feel like complaining about them? So, that you would say to yourself: “Oh, this person is always complaining. He or she will never be happy. I get so tired from listening to that crap!” Maybe you like to tell him/her: “Stop complaining!”

But occupying yourself with those thoughts, do you realize: “What happens to my own energy or vibrational pattern?”

Written by Suzette Lyn Michaelsen and Jens W. Pedersen

When we think about “STOP” it is a kind of opposition and another kind of negativity or intolerance. You may actually say that it is a complaint. It is of course normal for us to want something to stop or to go away. But it is not the best kind of focus. If we want something to change then it is better to focus on what is wanted instead of focus on the unwanted – cause we attract what we are thinking about.

Therefore it is important to let things be the way they are cause then we don’t use our energy in the wrong way. If we oppose something people say or do, or if we oppose our own thoughts, then, actually, we put energy into those thoughts, words and doings. This is likely to only make them stronger and more prevalent, generating more of those kind of vibrations in our own lives.

Why do we complain anyway?

Expectations
When someone fail to meet our expectations we start complaining. It is very common in relationships. It is like the man should help with the dishes or else the woman will complain or vice versa. Or maybe when dating, the woman expects that he will pay the bills or she will complain about him.

Conditions
A condition is a bit like an expectation. It is when we demand for someone to behave in a certain way for us to love or accept them. So it is conditional love. For instance in a parent and children relationship. The parents demand, that the child behave and respect them and if not they will complain and disagreement begins.

This is also a dominant issue in immigration: “This is actually a very big thing to Danish integration. The government want us, the immigrants, to act and live like Danes and assimilate into Danish society. It is not possible, though, because we have different life experiences. But if the immigrants don’t meet those conditions people react and complain.” – Suzette Lyn Michaelsen

Judging
This is very common everywhere, for instance at work. Some people get stuck on a specific negative perception about another person’s abilities or character. So they will focus only on the mistakes and failures of that person. For instance, a woman is doing good work at her machinery, but one little mistake causes lots of complaints from her co-workers.

Resistance
This goes on at a subconscious level. In the Law of Attraction it is said that resistance consists of fears and doubts. As a result of a human defence mechanism, people complain to hide their own insecurity. So you feel bad about yourself and because of that you get angry or annoyed with someone else, pointing your fingers at that person.

Comparison
Complaints may be due to comparison. So for instance, a woman is talking gossip and slander to her social circle about the life of some rich person they know. She complains about the luxurious and extravagant lifestyle of this person. But actually, she want to put that person down to hide her envy for she is less successful.

Lack of understanding
We don’t really understand why bad things happen in our lives. It does not make sense to us and because of that we complain, thinking: “Why am I so unlucky?” So we complain because we consider us self to be like innocent victims. This is why we need to understand much better how energy works and that everything is a reflection of our own minds.

Be mindful and allowing

Rather than complaining and picking on somebody it is better to be mindful which is observing but not judging. Just let those annoying people be. In mindfulness it is often said, that we should observe life like we observe clouds in the sky. We know it is futile to try and make them go away, so we let them come and go not using much energy on that.

Mindfulness training is good for peace of mind. And this is an important lesson also according to The Law of Attraction that we must accept before we are able to chance. We are not supposed to oppose or fight the behaviour of other people. Nor should we fight our own thoughts but only direct them into a good vibrational pattern.

Complaining is a good subject since we may use that term for every kind of “not allowing”, that is also not allowing our own behaviour, thoughts, feelings and desires. So, complaining may be both internal and external – we may complain about our neighbour doing this or that but also we may complain about ourselves. For instance, I might think: “I ought to be able to work more hours!” Or: “I am useless for finding a girlfriend!” and so forth.

When complaining you get disconnected

What if I were to use those words externally, and for instance tell things like that to a friend of mine? Saying: “You ought to be able to work more hours!” Or: “You are useless for finding a girlfriend!” and so on. I would easily get into a conflict, maybe even lose my friend if I kept on talking to him like that. But how often do you say those things to yourself? Is it not on a regular, everyday basis that would certainly cause internal damage?

When I use those words inside myself it is also a conflict and an unloving behaviour towards myself – causing me to lose my internal friendship with who I am or my Inner Being. And this is why it hurts. Doing that, I am disconnecting me from myself. Or in the words of LOA, I am not “aligned” with my Source.

So, for that reason don’t complain about yourself – but also don’t tell yourself to stop complaining (that is just another complaint). Instead be patient with yourself and start using nice words. Let go of internal as well as external complaints and start thinking about what you like and appreciate about yourself, everyone and everything. That will create a loving vibrational pattern attracting to you more of the same kind and causing you to live your life in love.

Let’s talk about sex baby! Sexual Alignment

 

Story 1

Imagine that you are lying on the bed and your partner is kissing you from your neck to your chest all the way down to your toes. Your partner touch you so hard that you can’t even move. Your mate is stretching your hands so you become completely strength less. You can hear your partner’s desire from the left and right ears. You are just lying, listening and observing because you don’t actually feel anything, and then you say to yourself: “When it’s gonna be over?”

 Story 2

Imagine you are looking into your partner’s eyes, then you feel some sexual desire. Your partner is kissing you on your lips, you close your eyes and enjoy the sensation. You both forget everything around you. You don’t care about anything else. You explore each others bodies … then suddenly you utter these words: “I love you Baby” because you reached the soul of your partner.

Written by Suzette Lyn Michaelsen and Jens W. Pedersen

There is one very important basic principle in The Law of Attraction and that is “contrast”. Above you find two contrasting sex stories. From contrasts we learn, so that knowing one contrast will allow you to wish for the opposite. For instance from experiencing unpleasant sex arises the wish for loving and fulfilling sex.

But sometimes we get stuck with the unpleasant part. Then you will think about that very bad sex all day long – maybe feeling sorry for yourself, maybe angry with that partner of yours doing it all wrong. Or maybe jealous at a friend of yours having great sex.

None of this, however, will benefit you since those negative thoughts create more negativity attracting again those unwished for experiences. For that reason do not use much effort and do not get preoccupied with that which was unpleasant.

But use it to understand what you really like and put your focus and energy into that – by doing so, you direct your thoughts into a good vibrational pattern and in turn those vibrations will attract what is desired. This is how you turn story number one into story number two.

What may hold you back?

When you are making love with someone without any sensation it looks like you are just a puppet following the moves of your master. You may want to change that, but some beliefs, taboos or lack of knowledge hold you back. Those kind of reasons are called “resistance”.

Some people stay that way because they are married and believe that it is our obligation to please our partner. Some pretend to be happy to avoid problems in the relationship. Some obtain this behaviour to avoid judgement from society because of sexual taboos. Some accept this predicament because they are unaware of what they really want.

But the unsatisfied person experience unworthiness, insecurity, sadness, depression and restlessness. So let us further introduce to you sexual urges and liberation so that you may achieve the most exciting and intimate sexual experiences.

We attract our own energy

You need to communicate with your inner self and identify: “What do I really want?” But you may be confused. Then it is like: “I want ice cream but I don’t want to eat it!” We attract our own energy. So if you are confused about sexual desires that will reflect itself in the sex-partners you meet. This may be annoying, but is also useful since that reflection is a mirror. You may use it to understand better yourself.

Take one example:

A man is sexually aroused when he see women with sex appeal and he is very much into them. But at the same time something is off, and so when it comes to real life sex with a woman that matches his desire he is holding back. Hesitating. Feeling insecure about that.

So, there is two opposing energies: The one is sexual desire and attraction, but the other one is hesitation or confusion about those wishes.

The result being: Those attractive women that he desire seem to vanish in front of him. They appear and attract him. He will connect with them over and over again, and they talk or chat for a while, but for some reason those connections never seem to turn into something real and tangible. They appear and vanish, appear and vanish over and over again and it is a reflection of his confusion or not knowing what he want.

So, how will you use that?

You must think again about your own desires. Go through them as many times as needed. Think about what you want and then feel. So, when you think “I want this specific kind of woman” or “I want a same sex partner”, or “I like to have multiple partners”, then notice how it makes you feel. Good? Bad? Safe? Scared? And so on and so forth.

Noticing that will gradually increase your self awareness and balance your thoughts about what you want with those inmost desires of your inner being. When finally they are balanced, you let go of resistance and are able to attract and meet in real life exactly what you want.

Remember, that your present perspective is a narrow one compared to that of your inner being – so, in order to align yourself with your inner being you must always change your perspective from narrow into something broader or all-embracing. Your “guiding system” will help you do that:

Understand your guiding system

When we were young we were told from our parents: “You should not do that, because it is bad”. Some of us who went to church learned that: “It is forbidden to do this and that because it is a sin”. For instance in some cultures it is forbidden or sinful to be a homosexual and due to that a truly homosexual person may reject that part of him or herself.

However, following those directions you may not get what you want because you are controlling yourself based on a worldly perspective. So that’s why it is very important to value your inner being and follow your own guidance system that holds a broader perspective of this existence.

So what is your guidance system and how does it work?

The guidance system is an inner connection with your higher self, your soul or what is in Law of Attraction called your Source. It works through your feelings, so that if you feel good you are in alignment with your Source. In the words of Abraham it is like this: “Until you decide to focus your thoughts into alignment with the Source within you, you will not feel good.”

Now, this might cause some misunderstanding – in order to feel good you might try to change or control your surroundings. You may think: “My lover should not say this or that!” Or: “My partner should not do those things that I dislike!” You may very well think (most of us do) that your husband or wife is the reason why you are not in alignment and therefore not feeling good.

But it is not about them. And to focus your thoughts on what they did wrong, and correcting them, will only make you feel worse – or it will be like peeing your pants. You correct them, and they behave for a while, so you feel good. But then again they will do something stupid, husbands and wives always do. So, after some time, you are back at square one feeling bad again because of what he/she say or do. Correcting them is Sisyphean.

Feeling good is about aligning yourself with the perspective of your Source which is always loving – towards yourself, your partner and everything. So, coming from there sex may be both tender, caring, intimate, wild and free. It is all up to you, your choices and whether or not you are in alignment with your inner being.