How do you feel about complaints? Do you think that people are complaining way to much and do you maybe feel like complaining about them? So, that you would say to yourself: “Oh, this person is always complaining. He or she will never be happy. I get so tired from listening to that crap!” Maybe you like to tell him/her: “Stop complaining!”
But occupying yourself with those thoughts, do you realize: “What happens to my own energy or vibrational pattern?”
Written by Suzette Lyn Michaelsen and Jens W. Pedersen
When we think about “STOP” it is a kind of opposition and another kind of negativity or intolerance. You may actually say that it is a complaint. It is of course normal for us to want something to stop or to go away. But it is not the best kind of focus. If we want something to change then it is better to focus on what is wanted instead of focus on the unwanted – cause we attract what we are thinking about.
Therefore it is important to let things be the way they are cause then we don’t use our energy in the wrong way. If we oppose something people say or do, or if we oppose our own thoughts, then, actually, we put energy into those thoughts, words and doings. This is likely to only make them stronger and more prevalent, generating more of those kind of vibrations in our own lives.
Why do we complain anyway?
When someone fail to meet our expectations we start complaining. It is very common in relationships. It is like the man should help with the dishes or else the woman will complain or vice versa. Or maybe when dating, the woman expects that he will pay the bills or she will complain about him.
A condition is a bit like an expectation. It is when we demand for someone to behave in a certain way for us to love or accept them. So it is conditional love. For instance in a parent and children relationship. The parents demand, that the child behave and respect them and if not they will complain and disagreement begins.
This is also a dominant issue in immigration: “This is actually a very big thing to Danish integration. The government want us, the immigrants, to act and live like Danes and assimilate into Danish society. It is not possible, though, because we have different life experiences. But if the immigrants don’t meet those conditions people react and complain.” – Suzette Lyn Michaelsen
This is very common everywhere, for instance at work. Some people get stuck on a specific negative perception about another person’s abilities or character. So they will focus only on the mistakes and failures of that person. For instance, a woman is doing good work at her machinery, but one little mistake causes lots of complaints from her co-workers.
This goes on at a subconscious level. In the Law of Attraction it is said that resistance consists of fears and doubts. As a result of a human defence mechanism, people complain to hide their own insecurity. So you feel bad about yourself and because of that you get angry or annoyed with someone else, pointing your fingers at that person.
Complaints may be due to comparison. So for instance, a woman is talking gossip and slander to her social circle about the life of some rich person they know. She complains about the luxurious and extravagant lifestyle of this person. But actually, she want to put that person down to hide her envy for she is less successful.
Lack of understanding
We don’t really understand why bad things happen in our lives. It does not make sense to us and because of that we complain, thinking: “Why am I so unlucky?” So we complain because we consider us self to be like innocent victims. This is why we need to understand much better how energy works and that everything is a reflection of our own minds.
Be mindful and allowing
Rather than complaining and picking on somebody it is better to be mindful which is observing but not judging. Just let those annoying people be. In mindfulness it is often said, that we should observe life like we observe clouds in the sky. We know it is futile to try and make them go away, so we let them come and go not using much energy on that.
Mindfulness training is good for peace of mind. And this is an important lesson also according to The Law of Attraction that we must accept before we are able to chance. We are not supposed to oppose or fight the behaviour of other people. Nor should we fight our own thoughts but only direct them into a good vibrational pattern.
Complaining is a good subject since we may use that term for every kind of “not allowing”, that is also not allowing our own behaviour, thoughts, feelings and desires. So, complaining may be both internal and external – we may complain about our neighbour doing this or that but also we may complain about ourselves. For instance, I might think: “I ought to be able to work more hours!” Or: “I am useless for finding a girlfriend!” and so forth.
When complaining you get disconnected
What if I were to use those words externally, and for instance tell things like that to a friend of mine? Saying: “You ought to be able to work more hours!” Or: “You are useless for finding a girlfriend!” and so on. I would easily get into a conflict, maybe even lose my friend if I kept on talking to him like that. But how often do you say those things to yourself? Is it not on a regular, everyday basis that would certainly cause internal damage?
When I use those words inside myself it is also a conflict and an unloving behaviour towards myself – causing me to lose my internal friendship with who I am or my Inner Being. And this is why it hurts. Doing that, I am disconnecting me from myself. Or in the words of LOA, I am not “aligned” with my Source.
So, for that reason don’t complain about yourself – but also don’t tell yourself to stop complaining (that is just another complaint). Instead be patient with yourself and start using nice words. Let go of internal as well as external complaints and start thinking about what you like and appreciate about yourself, everyone and everything. That will create a loving vibrational pattern attracting to you more of the same kind and causing you to live your life in love.